It was seriously wow!
He picked me up from home at half past 5 and we went onto Spoons. His driving was pretty scary tbh but I felt totally safe with him. I was so nervous before hand, and when he first arrived I was pretty shy, but within a few minutes I was totally relaxed with him. He wouldn't let me buy my own drink there, and he was opening doors for me and stuff. We talked a lot, then decided to go see a film. So we saw 2012, which weren't too bad, but I was very aware that I was sitting next to an incredibly hot guy the whole way through, so I was kinda distracted. He also wouldn't let me pay for my cinema ticket. When the film ended, it was freezing cold outside, and I was shivering real bad, so he was kinda holding me close to keep me warm. We then went back to Spoons where he bought me another drink. Then it got to the point where he had to take me home, and I actually really didn't want to leave him. But he took me home, and he kissed me. Like a pretty intense kiss that was just sooo good. He tasted like mint and cider lol. And then asked if I'd like to do that again sometime, then left. And that was it. The night was over.
And he has literally just asked me to go out with him tomorrow as well.
I'm just so happy right now :)
xxx
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
No date?
He's ill.
So he's had to cancel it for tonight.
Instead he's suggested just having tomorrow afternoon onwards together and just doing whatever we feel like.
I quite like that idea :)
xxx
So he's had to cancel it for tonight.
Instead he's suggested just having tomorrow afternoon onwards together and just doing whatever we feel like.
I quite like that idea :)
xxx
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Date?
I have a date tomorrow night?
I have no idea what to wear.
Ohhmygodd.
I'm so excited/nervous!!
xxx
I have no idea what to wear.
Ohhmygodd.
I'm so excited/nervous!!
xxx
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Twoo days to go :)
There's 3 pregnant women. The 1st women says "I did it on my side so I'm gonna have a baby boy." The 2nd women says "I did it on my back so I'm gonna have a baby girl." Then they see the blonde crying and they ask what's the matter and she says "I'm gonna have puppies."
I'm soo stupidly tired. I keep having really vivd dreams about a few things I'd rather not think about. So that when I finally do fall asleep, I keep waking. It's horrible. I've not had a decent night's sleep for a while.
But despite that; I'm really excited to be coming homee in like two days :) I can't wait to see people. And it'll be amazing to just be able to sleep in my own bed again. I really should start packing lol. Whoop!! :)
I'm missing The Brink at the met lounge tonight. Which is slightly disappointing. But I'm seeing them next Friday and the Sunday after that, which I really can't wait for. I've missed seeing them nearly more than I've missed my family!! Lol :) check them out: www.myspace.com/thebrinkband :)
So yeah, that's almost a completely positive post haha.
Much love, xxx
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
8/12/09
Just bare with me here. I just need to write, so God knows if this will make any sense.
I've hardly slept in days. Sunday night I had about four hours, last night I had roughly five. I know it's really not healthy and I'm so exhausted it's rediculous. It's now half past midnight and I can't sleep.
I had to go to court today for my seminar. It was actually quite interesting to begin with. Got shown around and things were explained to us. And the judge was a really nice guy. So I was beginning to think that maybe it was worth me having to get up an extra hour early for this special seminar.
They had a list of cases going on in different courts, and we were to sit in on one of them. Of course our tutor didn't want to put us into one that would be boring, but he also didn't want to put us into something "traumatic" like murder (btw there weren't actually any murder cases on, that was just an example he gave us). So he chose for us to go into a case which was only on it's second day, so we'd have a chance to see a case which had only just begun. It was a sexual abuse case, where a step-father figure had abused a young boy throughout the 80s and the boy had only came to the police about this last year. We went into the court and the abused was called to the stand and they showed his initial interview with the police on a screen for the jury to see. The abuser was in a glass box at the back of the court. They showed the video for about an hour. And I was trying so hard not to cry. It really made me think. There was this guy who had been abused so long ago, being brave and standing infront of the courts and telling the jury what had happened to him. And I was thinking how there was no chance that I would ever be able to do that. How the guy who tried to rape me will never be sentenced because I would never be able to stand in front of the court and say what had happened to me. So he will just go free. And fuck knows, maybe he will attempt it with some other girl, maybe he already has., but I can't face him. After they showed that part of the video, we all went out for a break. And my tutor was asking us about how we were finding it, I just felt faint. The abuser was free to just walk about during this break as well, he came right by us and I was actually so scared. It was one of those times where I was scared into silence. They went back in after the break to see how the rest of the trial would go about today. I couldn't. I couldn't go back in there and listen to more of that. I couldn't stand how his abuse was making me think of my attack. And it scared me so badly.
I've not been able to think of anything else all day. And I just wanted a big hug from Gary, which clearly I couldn't have since it's so far between us. He asked me what was up, but I just told him I didn't want to talk about it. I just needed him here :(
I hate feeling like this, I just don't know what to do with myself. Everyone else was actually excited that we were getting to sit in such a high profiled case. I just couldn't wait to be out of there. I actually don't want to have to see my tutor again because I know he noticed that I'd gone pale and silent when we came out. I don't want questions.
Ugh I want to go home now please.
xxx
I've hardly slept in days. Sunday night I had about four hours, last night I had roughly five. I know it's really not healthy and I'm so exhausted it's rediculous. It's now half past midnight and I can't sleep.
I had to go to court today for my seminar. It was actually quite interesting to begin with. Got shown around and things were explained to us. And the judge was a really nice guy. So I was beginning to think that maybe it was worth me having to get up an extra hour early for this special seminar.
They had a list of cases going on in different courts, and we were to sit in on one of them. Of course our tutor didn't want to put us into one that would be boring, but he also didn't want to put us into something "traumatic" like murder (btw there weren't actually any murder cases on, that was just an example he gave us). So he chose for us to go into a case which was only on it's second day, so we'd have a chance to see a case which had only just begun. It was a sexual abuse case, where a step-father figure had abused a young boy throughout the 80s and the boy had only came to the police about this last year. We went into the court and the abused was called to the stand and they showed his initial interview with the police on a screen for the jury to see. The abuser was in a glass box at the back of the court. They showed the video for about an hour. And I was trying so hard not to cry. It really made me think. There was this guy who had been abused so long ago, being brave and standing infront of the courts and telling the jury what had happened to him. And I was thinking how there was no chance that I would ever be able to do that. How the guy who tried to rape me will never be sentenced because I would never be able to stand in front of the court and say what had happened to me. So he will just go free. And fuck knows, maybe he will attempt it with some other girl, maybe he already has., but I can't face him. After they showed that part of the video, we all went out for a break. And my tutor was asking us about how we were finding it, I just felt faint. The abuser was free to just walk about during this break as well, he came right by us and I was actually so scared. It was one of those times where I was scared into silence. They went back in after the break to see how the rest of the trial would go about today. I couldn't. I couldn't go back in there and listen to more of that. I couldn't stand how his abuse was making me think of my attack. And it scared me so badly.
I've not been able to think of anything else all day. And I just wanted a big hug from Gary, which clearly I couldn't have since it's so far between us. He asked me what was up, but I just told him I didn't want to talk about it. I just needed him here :(
I hate feeling like this, I just don't know what to do with myself. Everyone else was actually excited that we were getting to sit in such a high profiled case. I just couldn't wait to be out of there. I actually don't want to have to see my tutor again because I know he noticed that I'd gone pale and silent when we came out. I don't want questions.
Ugh I want to go home now please.
xxx
Saturday, 5 December 2009
~ twirly whirly ~
I'd rather eat my soup with a fork
Or drive a cab to New York
Cause to talk to you is harder work
So what's the point in wasting all my words
If it's just the same, or even worse
Than reading poems to a horse
Shakira: Poem To A Horse
Ahh man, this totally sums up what it's like trying to talk to Michael atm. It's not good and I really hate it. But what can I do. He's being a right twat, and I can't change that no matter how much I hate it. Godd, I miss him.
I actually have nothing to report on here :/ like I have absolutely no idea what to write. But I hadn't been on here for a while so I figured I should post something...
Whooop!
xxx
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