Ahhhh babbeeeeyyy

It's sunny and I'm happppeeeeyyy (:
For like no reason, other than I am.
I'm just enjoying this while is lasts.
Smile people - it makes everything seem better (:
x x

I liked being hated better

It was so much easier to deal with.
I find out he still likes me a lot and I can't cope with it.
It's made me wanna cry.
Because I really like him still.
And I know given the chance, I would go straight back to him.
And I know that that can only lead to me being hurt again.
He is the only person who can make me truly happy, but he is also one of the only people who can make me wanna disappear.
God, why does he have so much control over me.
I want him so bad.
And I know I can't tell my friends or family that - they'd never understand. They know how badly he's hurt me. They will never understand how I can still love him after all of that.
I'm gunna have to think about this, before running back to him like I always do...
x x

Best hangover cure?...Keep drinking...

And then you'll forget that you were hungover (: - tomorrow is gunna kill...
Last night was amazing.
It's not every night you can get away with acting like the biggest whore around, and not have anyone think anything of it.
You're just jealous you couldn't do it too.
The idea was that I wasn't gunna drink; I mean I took no money or ID for the bar so I couldn't buy any.
But I had drinks bought for me of course.
Some kinda cider, Strongbow, Mallibu and coke...
So much so, my 4 inch black heals were getting hard to walk in - and they are the easiest things to walk in that I own!
MS didn't know what he was missing out on til he saw me.
I looked gooood, even if I do say so myself - how else do you think I got my free drinks.
Lets see, drinks from TB, JC and JC (haha didn't realise they had the same initials...) and danced with JC, TB, JC, TP...Slow dance with MS's close friend, JA...
My aim to make MS hurt apparently worked as well, which I'm psyched about.
TP: "He doesn't know what he's missing out on, you look stunning, he's a twat..." - Awh thank you muchily (:
Everytime I walked anywhere near him, he walked off.
I didn't attempt to talk to him, and he didn't with me...He wasn't worth my time.
But my god he looked hot.
You're beautiful
Every little piece, love
Don't you know you're really gonna be someone,
Ask anyone
When you find everything you've looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful
And I still think of him too much.
And I still want him to realise what he did to me, and say something.
But last night was not the time for that...If it was then it would've happened.
I've accepted that he hates me, and I'm now gunna have to learn to live with that.
Ah well, enough for now.
Much love, x x

Billie Jean

...is not my lover
Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the
kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son...
♥
RIP Michael Jackson.
May you live forever through your music.
You will never be forgotten.
Only the good die young
Too young to die.
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself,
And then make a change
♥

You're just jealous

I wish my life was as perfect as yours.
I wish that when he said he cared, he meant it.
And when he said he loved me, it was true.
MS - I still love you.
I want to forget him.
Someone find me a hot, single guy to take my mind off him.
I need a distraction.
...
He's a twat and I need to be over him.
I wanna be happy again.

Blogging...

So this seemed like the best way to do things. I'm just an average girl. I just want to go into hiding, and have noone be aware of who I am. But I want people to remember I am still here. I am still that girl they once knew, and I do have feelings too - I have too many feelings.

Give me a chance to be me for once.

Just let me have a chance to write everything out as it happens, and I may be able to see things clearly for the first time. I would love to be truely happy.

I love fakeness...

Much love, x x